It’s been quite some time since I’ve last made a post that wasn’t a review. That’s because I had no idea what to write about; I felt as though everything else had already been written about and that I had no good ideas. However, I’ve chosen to answer a question that maybe you already know the answer to, but one that I receive frequently nonetheless.
“Why did you start blogging? And why lingerie?”
Two years ago marked the end of a long-term relationship and a very ugly breakup. I had nothing that was exclusively my own anymore, as everything else had merged with that relationship and went away when it ended. I watched my ex-significant other move on with their life, get new experiences, and become happy. That was hard to see, particularly while I seemed to stay frozen in time, in the same position I had been in for months. I knew that something needed to change, but I didn’t know what.
Being an avid reader of the bra blogs that were around back then, I decided to bite the bullet and go and make one myself. This was something that had been at the back of my mind for a while, but I always made up excuses for why it wasn’t the right thing for me: “Who would want to read what you have to say?” “Would you stick with it?” “Maybe you won’t even like it.”
By that point though, I figured I had nothing to lose, so I hopped onto WordPress, tossed around a few names (‘Lingerie Adventures’, ‘A Chronicle of Bras’, ‘In Bust We Trust’, and more lewdly, ‘A Tale of Two Titties’) before I finally settled on my current site title. (I was so fond of ‘In Bust We Trust’, though, that I made it the site’s tagline.)
It wasn’t long before blogging became my solace, my happy place that was my outlet for doing something that I loved. It was my way to share something that I was passionate about with the five people that were reading my blog.
My life, however, was in shambles. I had just moved to a new city, I was alone most of the time, and I was having a very rough time. Mentally, I wasn’t doing very well, and blogging was pretty much the only thing that was keeping me sane.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m Bipolar II and Borderline (Personality Disorder), but I hadn’t been diagnosed at that time. I had no idea why I was acting so erratically, and I felt like I was losing my mind. Posting regularly, comments, and keeping to a schedule were the only things that kept my life in check (“Nope, can’t kill yourself today, you have a post to do tomorrow”).
And so I blogged, watching my little viewership grow. When I felt the time was right to start posting photos of myself, I was quite terrified. I had no idea how to deal with ‘haters’ that were so common, but I did it anyway and decided to let the cards fall where they may.
That’s why I started blogging. As for why I chose lingerie, that’s a completely different story in which I still don’t have a complete answer:
I’d always thought that there was something wrong with me, because I never found bras to be comfortable, I never thought that I looked good in lingerie, and I kind of just wore whatever in terms of bra sizes.
As a result, I spent a lot of time looking up proper fit, and eventually discovered proper fit boutiques like Bravissimo and Figleaves, both of which stocked the elusive 28-bands that I’d read about.
But beyond fit, I’ve always liked lingerie. There was something about it that made me happy, and it’s so nice to have found this online community where everyone sort of ‘gets it’. This is something that I touched upon in my ‘Lingerie and Sexuality’ piece, but I’ll say it again: Lingerie is an art form to me, and a form of self-expression, as I’m sure that it is for most of the people who blog and read about it. It’s about so much more than sex, and I blog in part to end the stigma associated with the word. I hope to help normalize it and liberate women and men alike who think it isn’t for them because they’re not thin and white, or have large boobs and a societally ‘desirable’ body.
This community that I’m so lucky to be a part of means more to me than I’m willing to admit. Being among like-minded people has helped me grow as a person, and seeing women stick up for one another and protect each other from cruelty is both moving and inspiring. (Plus, being around people who get just as excited when the AP sales roll around or when a new brand comes out reminds me that I’m still normal).
Thank you to everyone who reads me, and to everyone who made it to the bottom of this very long post. I appreciate each of you, because this blog would be very boring without an audience.
Feel free to leave a comment saying why you like lingerie, and why you read/blog about it!